This Week's Book Report

Now that my sales conference over, I can read a few books for myself.

BLANKETS by Craig Thompson – One of the finest graphic novels I have read in a long time. I know I am a little late to the game on this one. But better late than never. Thompson’s autobiographical novel is the story of teenager Craig, struggling with his family, his small town schoolmates, and his own Christian faith. At a religious camp, he meets Raina, and their slowly developing relationship is the core of the book. After the camp, the two correspond until Craig spends two weeks with her and her family. The two fall in love, but once Craig returns home, he is forced to grow up and choose his own path in life. Thompson’s tale avoids the usual trappings of many coming of age tales, focusing on the spiritual and emotional impact of their relationship on Craig. Craig’s search for understanding, for his own place in the world, connects to us all. Thompson’s art captures the tender realism of the relationship as well as the surreal qualities of Craig’s internal struggle. Simple, intelligent, and heartfelt, Blankets captures a universal tale with grace and honesty.

STORM FRONT by Jim Butcher – The first book in Butcher’s Dresden Files series, combining fantasy and hardboiled mystery. Harry Dresden is a wizard for hire in Chicago, solving cases for clients while also working as a consultant for the police. In Storm Front, he tries to solve the mystery of a missing husband while helping the police uncover who savagely murdered two people through magic. The problem is, Harry’s the only local wizard powerful enough to have committed the crime, putting himself in the crosshairs of the Wizard’s Council. Butcher balances the mystery and fantasy elements very well, but it’s Dresden that makes the book a worthwhile read. He is an appealing character, funny, compassionate, tough, and carrying a dark past. As the series progresses, Butcher throws in a longer conspiracy / fantasy war subplot that carries through much of the series, but in the first book, he lays the groundwork for a strong series that anyone can pick up and enjoy. I definitely will read the next installment.

Mental Ramblings on a Cold Winter's Night

Arrrrrgh.
I keep pounding away at the keyboard, trying to write. The words fit together, the thoughts seem to work. And yet. And yet. And yet.
I keep trying to find a witty way to say it, or a deep profound statement. But none of it is really working. So maybe just being blunt is the best way.
I am lonely.
Well there, that was pretty straightforward wasn’t it? No beating around the bush.
Ok, am I truly alone in the world? No, obviously not. I have friends. I have family. I have people that I care about and that care about me.
But still.
I can’t really complain. I know why I am lonely right now, and it is a conscious choice. And I am not sad about it, at least not depressed. I am trying to find my happiness in being alone, reaching out for ways to give the days some meaning, some sense of purpose. I reach out to my friends. Well sometimes.
Ok not very often.
I admit it. I don’t open up the way I should. Not in the way that people open up to me. It’s not like I don’t try. I do. But when I feel down or troubled, I tend to turn inwards, and can be very stubborn when it comes to opening back up, letting people in.
That’s kind of one of the reasons I started this, to find an easier way for me to open up, to get out what is inside me so it doesn’t just sit in my gut growing stagnant and black and hard.
You know what’s weird is that each time I hit that button to post something, I get this weird insecure feeling. I wonder what will people say or think, will they like it or just look at me funny. But still I hit the button. For myself more than anything. Just to prove to myself that I can.
None of which really has anything to do with being lonely. Or maybe it does. How can I expect to stop being lonely when I find it so hard to just open up?
I guess the thought of going home tonight to the empty apartment when it is freezing cold outside and curling up under the blanket by myself just sounds so unappealing. And yet it is what I will do. Because that’s what living is, sometimes: making it through the days and nights until we get the opportunity to change things and seizing it.
So maybe I am not lonely. Maybe I am just biding my time.
Maybe I think too much.