The first post of the year

Hello 2010.
So far, you look a lot like 2009. Yay.
I haven’t had much of a chance to write lately. I could make excuses about being busy, but the truth is that I just hadn’t wanted to. I was trying to hide a little bit. My head has paid a little bit of the price for it. Cluttered thoughts, bad dreams, feeling alone. So if this seems rambling, my apologies. But right now I just need to clear out the clutter. I promise, more geeky things will come soon. Just not tonight.
I started off the New Year with a bang. My best friend in town, enjoying the city and spending time with friends for the first time in a while. It was fantastic. Just what the doctor ordered. Good friends, good food, good times.
But of course all good times must end. She went home (I miss you, Caz). I went back to work. Reality creeped back in and in the end, the world felt a little sadder.
I think we all look forward to New Year’s because it promises renewal. A break from a bad year or a continuation of a good one. A chance to fix parts of us that we are unhappy about. A chance to start again.
It’s about hope. And I have hopes. I have many of them. Hopes to change so much of my life.
But hope is always a tricky thing. You can’t just hope for things. Life doesn’t work that way. You have to work to get what you hope for. They just never get handed to you, no matter how hard you wish them to. Because hopes and dreams are not the engine of change, they’re just the fuel.
I guess I am still struggling in finding the methods of change. Sometimes I think I have it, but it slips away like an already forgotten dream. But I am still trying.
I still have hopes. The year has only just begun. It’s time to begin.