I haven’t written anything for a while. Years in fact. I am hoping to change that. 

I used to write all the time. I mean in 5th Grade I wrote a whole play! A mystery, to be precise, set on an English estate. Reading it back, it’s hilariously bad, but I remember being so proud of it. The teacher had it bound up and it was on display for parent night. I still have it, sitting on top of my bookshelf. 

I used to write stories and scripts. I studied English in college. I wrote for my college newspaper. Then I moved to New York and soon my passion for writing began to disappear. 

I always thought that it just faded away, that it was a childhood pursuit that I lost interest in as I grew older. But lately I have begun to question this. I wonder now if the reason is because I was drinking my passion away. 

A year and a half ago I was forced to face the reality that I was an alcoholic. When I did, I had to accept responsibility and shame for many actions in my life that I am not proud of. I had to deal with repairing damage to friendships. I had to focus on becoming a sober person. That’s not as easy as you may think. 

But it hasn’t been all pain and revelations. I spent a lot of time relearning to enjoy life and all the entertainment New York City has to offer. I drove across the country and back, seeing America like I had always dreamed of doing. I recently became the proud owner of a young puppy that has taught me how to love something unconditionally. 

It’s in this that I have started to wonder if writing was something that didn’t disappear, but was submerged. If now that I am sober, that passion can be rekindled. I am unsure yet. This is the first thing I have written and I have mixed feelings about it. Its a start, anyway. That’s the important thing. 

So I will be trying to get back on here more, and working on writing some more for myself. Maybe it will come back, maybe its gone forever. I hope it is still there within me, just waiting to come back. I will be very curious to see what comes of all of this.